Apathy

Lately I've been feeling quite apathetic. Not really towards my own life but towards others. It sounds like I'm being selfish and self absorbed, but I don't even feel like what's going on in my life is more important than anyone else's life. I'm just in a mood where I don't care. I get this way from time to time. I don't want to hear about your problems. I deal with my own issues 24 hours a day I don't want to add yours to my restless brain. What's worse is that even though I know I'm in this mood, when I see other people being apathetic it drives me nuts. I can't stand it. Now, let be clear. I don't like feeling this way. When I get in this mood I also feel like I'm being a horrible person. Typically, when someone asks me to pray for something, it is very natural and easy to do. When I'm in my apathy shadow I have to force myself to follow through with the prayers after I have started several times only to stop and tell myself I'll do it later. This shade of gray is not me. It's not my personality and it's definitely not who I want to be. I'm sorry if you've fallen victim to this alternate identity I resort to on occasion. It is never my intention to be anything less than interested in other people. Here's hoping a nice strong wind comes through and blows this cloud away soon.